Separated at Birth - Vladimir Guerrero Sucks at Talk Shows

Welcome to your retro, throw-back, old school Separated at Birth.  Vladimir Guerrero was once a crusher of baseballs and would place opposing pitchers' heads on stakes.  From his days with the Expos to the end of his career, Vlad hit baseballs so hard that I'm surprised none of them disintegrated before leaving the ballpark.  In his spare time, Vlad nightlighted as Arsenio Hall, the ever funny yet horrible talk show host.  There's really not much to say about this one that the pictures don't already say.  Just don't watch his talk shows, it's the same feeling as getting hit in the stomach by his bat.

                            Vlad                                                               Arsenio

Are We in for a Long September?

Last year, the Braves completed an epic collapse as never seen before in baseball...except for that other league in the MLB, as the Red Sox finished out the worst fall from playoffs to layoffs (RIP Terry Francona, fried chicken, and beer).  As September approaches with its temptations of Labor Day Weekend, cooling weather, and college football, the Braves seem to just be trotting along at almost the exact pace of last season.  Last season, the Braves were 73-52 through 125 games, compared to 71-54 this year.

Heading into September however, the Braves were on a tear as they went 17-9 during the month of August.  So far this August, the Braves are stammering, to say the least, with a lukewarm record of 12-10 heading into tonight's game.  This season's last stretch appears to be easier on the club as 28 of their final 37 games are against teams that are decidedly out of the playoffs (compared to 19 last year).  Of course, "decidedly out of the playoffs" is an opinion so take it with a grain of salt.

With the pickup of Paul Maholm at the trade deadline, the Braves have bettered their team ERA from 12th to 4th in the National League.  Their offense isn't slacking either with the 3rd highest run total in the NL.  While naysayers may not have faith or confidence in the team, I believe Frank Wren made the right decision in keeping the core of the team together and not making any big off-season trades.  If, and this is a big if, Brian McCann and Dan Uggla can get going and hitting like we all know they can, the Braves will be dangerous come the playoffs.  Match that with Andrelton Simmons coming off the DL in September and Kris Medlen pitching his little pint-sized pants off, and the Braves seem ready to make a strong push for the division and into the playoffs.  Bust out those foam tomahawks Braves fans, fill the stands, chop until your arms fall off, and lets cheer on Chipper in his last season as the Braves forget what happened last year and stampede their way into the playoffs.

Separated at Birth - Homer Bailey is Batman

One might ask, who is the Batman?  To the layperson, the obvious answer is Bruce Wayne.  These people are on the right trail, but the answer is not that simple.  The Batman is indeed Bruce Wayne; however, Bruce Wayne has an alter ego of his own.  I present to you, Homer Bailey, and he can't stay because he has to return some videotapes.  And if you don't believe me, he used to play for the Louisville Bats...really?  I'm not Sherlock Holmes here...

Bruce

Homer

Patrick

 



After you're done examining the evidence, you probably need to leave because Homer wants you off the F'ing set.

Seperated at Birth - Paul Janish is Late Night

Below, you, the reader, can view the stunningly brilliant smiles of two men with strikingly similar visages. Can one really tell the difference? To the undiscerning eye, they are but one man in very different choices in wardrobe, though one is no less exquisite than the other. A hint: One is former Cincinnati Red Stocking and current Braves shortstop Paul Janish in a pin striped suit, and the other is late night comedian and former host of The Man Show Jimmy Kimmel wearing--with aplomb--a very authentic looking Cincinnati Reds jersey.